Lyrics

I strolled out to my garden, as the sun rose o’er the land
To gaze upon my vegetable patch, which I had so carefully planned
I blinked once. I blinked twice. I could not believe my eyes
Had I grown a Cadillac or a zucchini of enormous size

I thought back to the night before and if I’d had a good night’s sleep
I was pretty sure I had closed my eyes and never uttered a peep
It was huge! It was green! It was beautiful! Smooth as a baby’s bottom
And pride swelled up inside of me, even though I knew it ought’n

‘Cause what had I done? I’m not the sun, or the rain, or the soil filled with goodness
I just planted the seeds for the food I need, and kept out some of the weeds
Now I can make…

Zucchini bread, zucchini pie, zucchini cake, my oh my
Zucchini quiche, zucchini tarts, but those might give me zucchini… (TMI)
Zucchini noodles, zucchini soup, zucchini yogurt, zucchini gloop
Zucchini fettuccine, zucchini and weenies. I could sew a zucchini bikini
I could carve a bed or a chair or a table. I could end world hunger
I’d finally be able to hold my head high for what I’d created
The meaning for which I have so long waited
For years I have prayed for my destiny, and now I know it – zucchini

I called my local TV station and said “Quick, come out and see
I done broke the world record for the largest zucchini”
They said “Listen Ma’am this ain’t the National Enquirer, and I don’t mean to be rude
But they might be more keen than me in fake news about enormous food”

So I took out my phone to make a picture and show ‘em my squash was quite large
But oh goodness oh grace someone give me some mace – now my curcurbit’s big as a barge
The fence is knocked down; the mailbox is next; time to grab my personal effects
I’m headed south to Mexico, this situation’s become quite complex

OR I could make..

Zucchini bread, zucchini pie, zucchini cake, my oh my.
Zucchini quiche, zucchini tarts, but those might give me zucchini… (TMI)!
Zucchini noodles, zucchini soup, zucchini yogurt, zucchini gloop.
Zucchini fettuccine, zucchini and weenies. I could sew a zucchini bikini.
I could carve a bed or a chair or a table. I could end world hunger.
I’d finally be able to hold my head high for what I’d created.
The meaning for which I have so long waited.
For years I have prayed for my destiny, and now I know it – zucchini.

I put the petal to the metal and start my commute, but that fruit is still in pursuit
It’s big and it’s green and it’s coming fast; I dial 9-1-1 ‘cause who else can I ask?
“Hello, what’s your emergency?” “I’m being pursued by a giant zucchini
I’m telling you, it belongs in a zoo; this zuke’s a big green meanie”

They said - “Ma’am it’s a crime to tie up this line with jokes and foolin’ around”
So I hung up the phone, I was on my own, while my squash was destroying the town
Now Deadman’s curve is coming up fast, and I try to slow my truck
But that zuke hits my tail, over the edge I sail –
Oh fuh-ly-y-y-y-y-----ing

When I land I’m surprised it seems I’m still alive; I’m someplace soft but wet
I’m at home in bed – definitely not dead. But I’m drenched in a cold, cold sweat.
I head straight out to my vegetable patch, which is catching the morning sun.
My zucchini plants are covered with fruits, hundreds of little ones.

The food bank could use these squash, I think. So I pick ‘em, one and all.
‘Cause if you’re gonna end world hunger, it’s best to start small